Thursday, April 30, 2015

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Computer chair blues

My chair was hard, my butt was sore;
I couldn't take it anymore.
I surfed the web, began to search
To find a new computer perch.

I looked at dozens, and found one
That worked for me, and I was done;
Dressed up in black, replete with charm,
Its personality was warm.

When it arrived by UPS
The battered box showed some distress;
Re-taped in places, dented, worn,
Its look was frazzled, glum, forlorn.

I peeked inside to check each part
Before I even made a start,
But - what the hell - could it be true?
It lacked an arm; I needed two!

I called the store that sold the chair
And reached a nice clerk working there.
She said she'd send the missing piece,
But it would take three days, at least.

I thanked her, and hung up the phone,
Quite grateful for the help she'd shown;
To celebrate, I had to eat
A bowl of ice cream as a treat.

The time dragged by, the three days passed,
And I received the arm - at last.
My brand new chair would soon be done,
There'd been a glitch, but now I'd won!

I tightened up a final screw;
It wouldn't catch, what should I do?
I took it out to look at it,
And nearly had a fainting fit.

The bloody screw head's top was smooth,
It came like that, without a groove!
I slowly counted up to ten
And sighed; well, here I go again.

I called the clerk back right away;
She mailed new screws that very day.
A human contact will incline
To help, with products bought on line.

Friday, April 24, 2015

A solution to ageing

Do you object to getting old?
Does retiring just leave you cold?
Are you concerned about your age?
Do you think youth is all the rage?

I saw an ad the other day
To help your worries go away.
Throw pills and hair dyes in the trash;
Why not relax, and save your cash?

Avoid the plastic surgery
And other types of splurgery;
Try death instead! They guarantee;
Apply it once, and you're age-free!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Phooling around

If you're paronomaniac,
You probably get lots of phlak
Phrom pholks who never phind it phun
To play with words and make a pun.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Freeing a death camp: 15 April 1945

Seventy years have come and gone
Since British soldiers burst upon
Frail remnants of the human soul
Alive within a hellish hole.

At Bergen-Belsen, dreams had died,
Though some still walked with halting stride,
Their lives' hopes drowned in boundless grief,
When freedom seemed beyond belief.

The prisoners, most resigned to death,
Still clung to life with their last breath,
And rotting corpses, scattered there
Lay poisoning the springtime air.

Have men improved in all this time,
Erased the feral paradigm?
Is savagery his only fate?
Is life devoid of all but hate?

Tuesday, April 7, 2015


I kissed her lips and all my fears dissolved.
My admiration augmented the fire
Of my passion, intensifying desire,
And gave courage to my faint heart's resolve.
I held her hand in mine, and my poor head
Grew dizzy, knowing I had found my mate;
I touched her cheek, and marvelled at my fate.
Her eyes told me that I was not misled,
And here was happiness I could embrace,
A gift more precious than a golden crown;
A prize worth more to me than foolish fame.
I was encircled in a state of grace,
And in that blessed, enchanted ring I found
A sanctuary; love, its proper name.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Karen's considering

Karen's considering what she should do;
Go get her nails done, or visit the zoo?
She could gather flowers, out in the yard;
So many choices, it's really quite hard.

She might take her bike , and ride through the park;
Or,wait to catch fireflies, after it's dark.
So much to decide, it's surely no snap;
Perhaps she should lie down, for a short nap?